Brooklyn is Calling, Creepily!

This past Monday morning I was meeting with one of my staff members when I saw that I'd missed multiple calls from the same 718 phone number. I was certain that I hadn't exchanged digits with anyone in Brooklyn or Queens recently, at least not someone who'd be leaving me multiple voice mail messages well before noon. While it's pretty rare for me to check my personal messages during the workday, my grandmother lives in a 718 area code and I thought it could be a call from a hospital or something equally scary, so I gave the messages a listen.

[Message 1:] Good morning Sheridan. This is Lincoln High School, and I'm calling just to let you know that your son came to the medical room and when he was on the train he slipped and hurt his ankle a little bit, so I'm having him put ice on it and I'm going to give you a note to bring him to the doctor if it's still swollen and painful. Thank you very much. Like I said (she hadn't said) if you have any questions ## and name of caller.

Well, at least she was polite, right? The next voic email was left twenty minutes later. Before I hit play I'm sure it's going to say, "So sorry for the message, we called you mistakenly." Instead I hear:

[Message 2:] Hi Sheridan, How ya doing? This is **** from Lincoln High School (same caller). If you could come pick up your son, um, because he fell on the train at 8 in the morning, if you can please give us a cal back at (direct number) this is the medical room and your son is in the medical room, and he has some pain in his ankle, OK? Bye.

What's so crazy about these calls from a high school in Brooklyn? First, the obvious: I don't have a son. Yet, the caller just used my name. I run through the possibilities in my head: does she mistakenly have my name and phone number as an emergency contact for someone? (I also don't have a relative with a high school aged kid.) Did she hear me say my name in my greeting and decide to use it in the message without checking who she should be calling? If she grabbed the number from the injured party, is there a kid in Brooklyn just hoping some rando will get him out of school? The scenarios on this are endless, I conclude, as another five possibilities stream through my mind.

You're already on board with this being truly odd, right? I mean, particularly if you're in education, you know an incorrect emergency contact could be the worst thing. And I'd consider it possible that she'd just transposed a number, but it's scary that someone in the medical center would have number dyslexia, no? (And shouldn't a name be hand in hand with an emergency number in all circumstances?) Anyway, for the sake of this poor kid who wanted to be coddled by his mom, and hopefully not in need of more urgent medical care, I called back the medical center to let them know of their mistake. The person I reached claimed not to be the original caller, who'd "stepped away," though I'd be willing to swear that it was the same voice.

So even if we've given the mistaken caller the benefit of the doubt, despite having had twenty minutes to speak with the injured student to check his mom's name and/or number, the coincidences in this call had me looking at my phone with a blank stare. You're probably thinking oh, it's weird that it was about an ankle injury! Sher's been talking about her ankle/leg injury non stop for, like, twenty months now, with no end in sight. Yeah, that's coincidental, true, but how's this for you? Lincoln High School (and I don't mean any Lincoln High School, I mean THE SAME LHS, located on Ocean Parkway) is where my father went to high school. It's also where my maternal grandfather went to high school. I think I know where only one other family member went to high school. In fact, my brother graduated from high school two years ago, and I couldn't tell you the name of it.

So hey Brooklyn! Were you my future calling or my past? Why am I sharing the transcripts of what I hope are the strangest mistaken calls I'll ever be party to? The improbability (and incompetence) that landed them in my voice mail were remarkable, but of the number of coincidences piled into them just makes me think I must actually know someone at Lincoln High, and they were just pranking me after having an awfully slow start to their week.

What do you think really happened? Is there a narrative I didn't imagine? I've had wrong number and prank texts before, and even had the occasional recorded phone call played in the boy's locker room, but never something of this ilk. And yes, one day I'll report on that locker room story too. But for now I've got to run. If I go back far enough into the future, I may be able to prevent an ankle injury.

This wasn't an Are You Afraid of the Dark script from the 90s. It's true. And perhaps the real value message is: What's your institution's emergency protocol?